Uncertainty is an unavoidable part of life. We can’t control everything that happens around or to us. But uncertainty can trigger discomfort, worry, and stress because our brains are wired to crave predictability. From an evolutionary perspective, our brains are designed to seek patterns and predict outcomes. The brain sees uncertainty as a potential threat, triggering the amygdala, the part of the brain responsible for flight-or-fight response, leading to feeling anxious and catastrophizing about worst-case scenarios. Having control over our environment created safety and ensured our survival.
The Illusion of Control
Those who have perfectionist tendencies have a difficult time because they’re sensitive to noticing what is outside of their control. Even when things are within their control, they often misinterpret them as out of their control. When there’s uncertainty, it breaks that illusion and sends you into a spiral making you feel more out of control. As humans we tend to focus on the things we don’t have control over, but there are things we do have control over that we have to consciously look for. We will never be in control of as much as we want, but we do have control over more than we think.
Uncertainty and Negativity Bias
Human negativity bias makes us more sensitive to losses instead of gains, and uncertainty triggers fear of loss. Since our brains are more wired to a negativity bias for our own survival from an evolutionary perspective, it can be difficult to get out of the mindset of imagining worst case scenarios, focusing on what is not going well, and looking at what we don’t have control over, rather than noticing what is going well.
Mindfulness and Control
Practicing mindfulness allows us to take a step back and reflect on what is happening in our own reality. While we tend to focus on what feels out of our control, mindfulness can help you pay more attention to what is actually within your control. What are you in control of? When you dedicate time to reflecting on this, you’ll notice there’s more. What can you directly influence or control in your life? Focus on your routines and habits. How can you create structure? What steps can you take today, even if they’re small, to stay grounded and mindful? When you put the energy into noticing what you do have control over, it can help you feel less stressed and more in control.
Regulating Your Nervous System
When we face uncertainty we feel threatened and there’s a physiological shift where we move into an activated state, fight-or-flight (Polyvagal theory). It can be hard to pull yourself back and look at things more mindfully and thoroughly, so it’s important to know how to regulate your nervous system so you can think through the situation clearly.
Here are some tips on how to regulate your nervous system when facing uncertainty:
- Accepting the situation for what it is and knowing you’ll get through it
- Deep breathing exercises
- Physical activity or exercise
- Cultivating self-compassion
- Watching your internal negative self-talk – speak to yourself like you would a friend
- Connecting to others and having a sense of community
- Limiting information overload – manage how much news you watch and manage exposure to stressful situations
- Cultivating self-compassion
Facing uncertainty is a process to get through, and you will get through it the best you can. Remember to have self-compassion along the way. We are all human and make mistakes, so be gentle with yourself.
Reframing Uncertainty as Possibility
Uncertainty means change, and often people are scared of change. Instead of thinking about it as a negative, reframe uncertainty as a possibility. Are you open to the idea that this uncertainty can bring positive change, as well? What opportunities could this bring? How much does this situation surprise you in a positive way? Have you faced uncertainty before and come out stronger? Change brings new opportunities, even if we didn’t choose this uncertainty.
Limiting Exposure to Stressful Situations
When it comes to consuming media and news, how do you know what’s enough? How do you balance staying informed with protecting your mental health? There’s no exact number that works for everyone. The more in tune you are with yourself, the more you’ll be able to navigate and find that balance. Check in and ask yourself, “do I feel like I’m informed enough or approaching overload?” If your sleep is suffering, you’re not able to relax, staying in a hypervigilant state, eating more than you need or not enough – those are indications of stress response and you know you need to pull back and regulate the information you are taking in. Create a separate space or bubble from the stress that’s going on where you can focus on your needs, recharge, and nourish yourself.
If you are struggling with uncertainty and feel out of control, I can help you focus on the positives in life and feel more in control. Contact Becky online to get started.
