Life is full of transitions. Some we plan for and others we don’t and are more of a surprise. These can include career transitions, relationship changes, parenthood, moving, aging and retirement, health challenges, and more. Everybody is going to have to face life transitions in their life at some point. Some are easy to navigate and adjust to, while others are more difficult and require internal resources that need stabilizing at times. Therapy can offer support, clarity, and tools to help you tap into those internal resources and navigate changes.
Why Life Transitions are Challenging
When life changes or we go through transitions, it requires an adjustment. Even if we opted for this change, it’s still change we have to adjust to, and change can be difficult. It can create emotional upheaval, stress, overwhelm, new roles and routines, and shifting identity. We have to adapt to change as a whole and integrate that change into the rest of your life. Along that road, it can cause feelings of uncertainty, self-doubt, fear of failure, and overwhelm to pop up.
Grief and Loss
People often think that grief only accompanies loss that comes with death. But change represents the loss of something and the beginning of something else. That loss can include not just the change in life, but also the shift, change, or loss of one’s identity. Even if you planned for change, loss is a big piece of it that you may not expect. Grieving because of these life transitions is normal and expected.
How Therapy Can Help
A therapist can help you process what’s changing and what you’re leaving behind. They can also help you to be open with what’s new to come. Therapy is a good place to talk about all of the feelings that arise and process them. It can help with gaining more clarity and different perspectives, especially if you feel stuck or overwhelmed.
Managing Stress and Anxiety
During major life transitions, stress and anxiety are heightened. Therapy can help you learn coping strategies and mindfulness techniques so you can get through this difficult period. I incorporate Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) into my work, which can help you think about the types of thoughts you are having. When you are experiencing a stressful situation, do your thoughts help you or make things more difficult? These therapeutic tools can help you change the way you think about these life changes so you can find stability and inner peace.
Building Emotional Resilience
If we didn’t ask for these changes and they happened anyway, it’s important to acknowledge what you are feeling. Therapy can help you gain clarity on what you are feeling so you can make sense of them and cope. Remember the resiliency and strength you have, that you have always had. Even if we don’t love change, humans are adaptable. We always adapt. When we go through a lot of change at once, it can feel overwhelming, but you can do it and have done it before. Whether you wanted this change or not, it’s doable and you’ve been doing it your whole life.
DBT also helps build emotional strength and resilience so you can handle difficult life events and be able to problem solve so you can make the best decisions. Everything will come together eventually. It always does. And even if it ends up in a way that’s not what you wanted, there are ways to adjust that and cope.
Gaining Perspective
When you are in the midst of transition, it can be hard to think through and see the bigger picture. During life transitions, we have a tendency to fixate on the actual changes and have narrow focus. Or we have a distorted way of thinking that everything is black or white, all or nothing. It makes it hard to see how those changes fit into your life and the bigger picture.
Exploring Identity and Purpose
Life changes can be exciting, but also worrisome. The changes that come with life transitions can also impact your identity as a whole and your purpose in life. While you might have lost some parts of your previous life and identity, this change might bring about new opportunities that you didn’t expect. Working with a therapist can help you expand your identity and find purpose.
Focusing on the Positives
The transitional period is the most uncomfortable experience. It can feel like you’re just waiting for the next step. One of the cognitive distortions we experience during life transitions is only focusing on the end goal. During the transition, you might be thinking, “it’s not right yet,” “I’m not settled,” or “I’m not where I’m supposed to be yet.” You convince yourself that the interim is just a waiting period or waste of time until you reach that next phase. But life is still happening. It’s still going and you are a part of it. Life isn’t about waiting, it’s about living. Practicing radical acceptance can help you live in the present. It’s fine to be focused on the ultimate goal, but remember to set smaller goals along the way. Even if you don’t proactively set small goals, you are still navigating steps. They just might be happening more slowly than you want them to. Rather than thinking, “I won’t feel successful until I find the right house,” celebrate small accomplishments like, “I found the neighborhood I want to live in,” or “I got preapproved for a mortgage.” It’s ok to feel like this part of your life sucks, but don’t ignore the positive aspects of this life transition.
This is a journey and this is part of your whole story. One day you will look back and realize that this period of time is a chapter of your life. If you don’t value this time, it will be wasted. But you can cherish this time as part of your story. A time that you faced challenges and overcame them. A time when you showed yourself you can be resilient and strong. One way to honor this part of your life is to take pictures along the way, even the parts you’re not as excited about. It’s all still a part of your story.
5 Things You Can Do to Navigate Life Transitions
- Take time to reflect: You can do this by meditating, journaling, or practicing mindfulness. Reflection gives you time to be proud that you accomplished things and gives you space to understand and connect with yourself.
- Focus on self care: Carve out time for yourself. Get plenty of rest, eat healthy meals, and do activities you enjoy.
- Seeking support: Talk to trusted friends, family members, or your therapist about what you are going through and struggling with.
- Set mini attainable goals: Write a to-do list and cross off the items as you accomplish them. It feels satisfying to cross off items and eventually you’ll see just how much you got done.
- Practice patience: Change takes time. Be gentle with yourself. You can feel frustrated or impatient from time to time, just don’t get stuck in it as your primary reality.
- Feel all the feelings: Hold the different types of emotions, not just a narrow view of waiting for the right thing when all of this is done. You’re right, it won’t feel good until it’s all done, but don’t ignore your other feelings like joy and excitement. Feel it all, even if it feels like a roller coaster.
You Can Get Through This
If you are going through a difficult life transition and feel overwhelmed, therapy can help you build strength and resilience so you can find peace and experience joy. I am trained in mindfulness and DBT to help you navigate these changes. Contact Becky online to learn more and get the support you need.
